Best Line from the Budget Crisis

It’s always good to keep your sense of humor.

At Mojave National Preserve in California, workers warned visitors they’d have to leave within 48 hours of a shutdown.

Not that anyone would notice.

“If we were furloughed, we wouldn’t have the staff to find them anyway,” park employee Danette Woo said.

Of course being lost in the Mojave Desert might be just what it takes to develop an appreciation for government.

About J@m3z Aitch

J@m3z Aitch is a two-bit college professor who'd rather be canoeing.
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5 Responses to Best Line from the Budget Crisis

  1. Jeremy Sell says:

    I thought it might be kind of interesting if we did end up with a government shutdown. I think there are a lot of government functions many people take for granted, and a shutdown could serve as a wake-up call. I would almost like to see a year or two of complete anarchy, just to shut up those who think government is inherently evil. But then I’d have to stock up on food, fuel, guns, ammunition, fortifications, manpower, etc. and that just sounds like too much work.

    Regarding your last line: I know several self-proclaimed “strict libertarians” who would respond with something like this: “Government has no business saving people from being lost in deserts. It’s not enumerated in the Constitution. If there is demand for saving people lost in deserts, surely some enterprising individual will start a business to serve that need. Of course, if the lost can’t afford the service, or if no entrepreneur finds the prospect of saving lost desert-goers profitable, the lost can just die in the desert.”

  2. James Hanley says:


    Oh, I’m one of those libertarians who has no sympathy for people who get lost in the desert. It’s those who actually get lost in the desert who end up appreciating government–and even us libertarians might if it were us.

  3. Lance says:

    I love swimming in Lake Michigan when it isn’t frigid or ice bound which is just a few weeks in the middle of summer.

    The Indiana Dunes National Lake Shore has a designated swimming area that is roped off with a string of floating buoys. If you go past the buoys the lifeguards bark “stay in chest deep water!” through bullhorns.

    I have no interest in be corralled into this confined area with screaming kids and posturing teens so I go about half a mile down the beach to the “nature area” strip of beach.

    Of course every hour or so the lifeguards roll up on quad runners and berate you with this stern warning,

    “There is no swimming allowed in the nature area beach. Swimming here is a class C infraction.”

    I don’t have any idea what a “class C infraction” is but I lumber out of the surf until they get out of sight and then I go back in.

    I know there are no lifeguards there and I take my chances. If I drown it’s my decision and I wouldn’t expect them to save me, even though it is there freaking job.

    Occasionally the wind from a storm will whip up the surf and there will big waves and there may even be a rip current. I LOVE IT! I am a strong swimmer. I was a lifeguard during my high school years and was on the swim team.

    I fully understand the risks and it’s my ass.

    Sometimes, during these strong surf conditions, these goobers will roll by and whip out the bullhorns to make a grandiose authoritarian claim that always makes me laugh.

    “The lake is closed!”

    Yeah, that’s right, these little twerps aren’t just closing the little strip of beach that they prowl like the highway patrol in red shorts.

    No, they are “closing” an entire great lake. That’s right perp, you better keep your soggy trunks out of ALL of Lake Michigan or these bullhorn tot’en, zinc oxide wearing stormtroopers will make you “assume the position.”

    You gotta love their ambition if not their lack of a sense of proportion.

  4. James Hanley says:

    Paternalism at its finest. I have a great appreciation for signs that say, “No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk.” Government should provide information. Then they should let you make your own choices based on that information.

  5. DensityDuck says:

    Don’t worry; chasing people out of a closed park is a “vital government function”, which employees would be expected to perform unpaid–and disciplined if they did not.

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