Wheat-dogg’s going to give us a heads up if the rapture’s for real.
I hear tell that the Rapture will happen this Saturday. I’m not clear if the prophet, Harold Camping, has worked out the exact time of the event, but since China is 12 hours ahead of Eastern Time, I’ll give you a heads up.
In fact Camping has figured out the exact time, 6:00 p.m. He hasn’t said 6:00 where, so presumably it’s a rolling rapture and Wheat-dogg will have time to warn us. I recommend that everyone get up and check his site early Saturday morning, and if there’s bad news, quickly get down on your knees and accept Jesus as your personal lord and savior. I have it on good authority that he won’t mind you getting on board so late.
And we should thank Wheat-dogg for his willingess to sacrifice himself for us by avoiding being raptured himself. Good luck in hell, buddy! I just hope he actually knows some Chinese Christians so he’ll know if it happens. I mean, China’s a big place with a lot of people, it could be easy to miss a mere 50 million folks there. And I hope he knows the right kind of Christian, or we could all be screwed.