Fuck Google

Google just switched me over to the new version of GMail. Good motherfucking Christ, it is just bloody awful. Besides just being aesthetically equivalent to the beauty of an anal cyst, it operates differently. Do those hamster-fucking asshats at Google really think I want to have any kind of learning curve on my fucking tools? Because that’s all email is, a goddam tool. It’s like someone came into my office, took my old reliable familiar stapler, and replaced it with one that operates differently enough that I have to spend some fucking time figuring the goddam thing out again. It’s like Lowe’s repossessing all my screwdrivers and giving me “improved” ones that I have fuck around with for a while just to figure out how they work. Why can’t these goddam circle-jerking software idiots realize that I’ve got more valuable uses for my time than to re-learn how to use their shit? Thank you, Google software engineers; you fucking bloody rectal tumors.

About J@m3z Aitch

J@m3z Aitch is a two-bit college professor who'd rather be canoeing.
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14 Responses to Fuck Google

  1. Phil says:

    Be careful what you smoke.

  2. D. C. Sessions says:

    Hit the “use old appearance for now” button and they’ll ask you why. No promises, but it gave me a chance to (a) use the old format for a bit longer, and (b) rant about them removing a feature I depend on (the address book.)

    As it is, the only way I can enter new addresses etc. now is with my Android phone. How the hell did they manage to forget the fucking contact manager>/b>?

  3. James Hanley says:

    Did that twice since they announced this. But that button’s disappeared, or has been moved to a non-obvious location.

    I’m sure they didn’t “forget” the contact manager; they just decided that they know better than you whether it’s useful to you or not.

  4. Matty says:

    I have gmail set up to go through thunderbird. Am I protected or is something horrible about to happen?

  5. James Hanley says:

    I’m no techie, but you should be find. It’s just the interface, I think, that they’ve screwed up. Since you’re importing your messages into Thunderbird, I would assume nothing would change. I’d use Thunderbird,but I generally find it more functional to leave my email online. Of course I think I could set it up so the messages remain online, too. The question would be whether my replies show up in the online threads? If Thunderbird sends messages back through Gmail and the whole threads hang together there it might be worth the learning curve to shift. What I really need is for the whole thread to show up in Thunderbird and online, so it doesn’t matter where I access something, I’ll have the whole thing there. Does T-Bird work that way?

  6. Whoa….not a safe blogpost for workplace viewing! (But I viewed it anyway, and with no bad consequences :))

  7. Michael Heath says:

    I spent quite a bit of time this past Autumn trying to figure out how to move from the Palm PDA and then their smartphone OS to a new smartphone platform given the opportunity to exist within a cloud. I’d been a Palm user since the first generation Palm Pilot shipped. I wrongly thought Graffiti, their short-hand writing technology with a stylus was the next killer app given I was writing at 30 wpm prior to leaving the store with my first Palm, but instead a cute teen-age blond in the movie Clueless drove us in another, I think slower direction. I have both a Google account and Apple MobileMe account while depending on Apple for email and storage though I use Google Readers, alerts, and primarily Chrome on my laptop. So it was not an easy pick though Apple had an edge since they have my email addresses.

    For me it came down to tech support since I depend on these products for my business and don’t have access to on-site IT support. My AppleCare plan for my laptops has long provided me with access to experts who use English as a first language whereas Google is a degree removed from its customers. So I chose an iPhone and iCloud, in spite of the fact I know Apple has long had, and continues to have, database integrity problems with the file which holds one’s calendar, notes, and reminders. Prior to making this decision and starting to set-up the syncing between my devices I didn’t fully appreciate the exponential increase in complexity moving to an iPhone syncing over iCloud rather than what I used previously, which was syncing my Palm directly to my laptop through USB. So it was luck to some degree I weighted these factors as I did.

    And while AT&T’s network absolutely sucks in this area (we’re still on their Edge network), the iPhone works elegantly with iCloud to manage my email, calendar, events, reminders, and even syncs all my four browsers’ bookmarks across all my platforms. My only big gripe is how poor iPhone presents listings of alerts across apps though I’ve found some alternative apps from Apple’s basic Lion/iOS5 programs which solves this problem.

  8. James Hanley says:

    My antipathy toward further technological learning curves is severe enough that I have essentially none of the technology you discuss here. I’ve come to conclude I’m a bit of a luddite, but I’m not so much anti-technology as I am interested in using my limited time on other matters, and the technology itself doesn’t interest me enough to change my preference order. That’s not meant to be smug; in fact I often wonder if I’m really missing out, especially when my friend whips out his smart phone at a hockey game and starts surfing the net to find an answer to something we’ve been discussing.

    On the other hand, I did buy a sawz-all for the first time last year, and had fun learning how to cut properly with it. Does that count for anything?

  9. Michael Heath says:

    James writes, ” . . . I did buy a sawz-all for the first time last year, and had fun learning how to cut properly with it. Does that count for anything?”

    I’m screwed when my dad gets too old to be the capable alpha-male handyman that he is. I’m already lost between now through April every year since he now winters in Florida; where he’s the go-to repair guy at his development rather than the one I own and property manage. I specialize in spreadsheets, when it comes to home and property mgt. repairs I depend upon from my wife, dad, and the local trades.

    The one handy-man area I still do excel at is processing wild game given he raised me as a butcher (which financed my way through college). That included recently processing a 1300 lb. bison my brother recently killed along with a handful of deer a year our family collectively harvests. I’m also OK with electrical but a good buddy is an electrician where my wife predominately gives him the nod for the job coupled to a home-cooked meal, i.e., after 28 years I’ve yet to earn her trust.

  10. James Hanley says:

    I’d trade some handiwork for some bison. Does your brother own a bison ranch? Or did he shoot it at a game farm?

  11. Dr X says:

    I started a post on this a few days ago, but never finished it. For the life of me, I cannot understand what kind of diseased minds thought these changes were a good idea. The letters floating on a blank white field force the perceptual system to work very hard to find the order in it. This is a particularly stupid idea for a medium that already demands a lot more perceptual work than is required for viewing analogue text. The first time I looked at it I experienced the momentary sensation of being drunk.

    It does help a bit to select the compressed view under settings, pushing the display of letters closer together and leaving smaller perceptual gaps to fill, but it still sucks. I thought I found a solution in a firefox add-on that is supposed to create alternating rows of color, but I can’t seem to make it work.

    I haven’t much liked the way Google has been monkeying with search in the last two years, but this change to GMail far outstrips any of that in its sheer enormonignoramityness.*

    *I had to make up a word because there are no English words adequate to express the fullness of my contempt for the change, though Professor Hanley’s uncharacteristically colorful adjectives come close.

  12. James Hanley says:

    Dr. X,

    And I badly need new glasses. You can guess how well my first visual perception of the new style went.

    The good news is that my wife, who’s far more technologically savvy than I am, found out how to reset it (going into the settings and resetting it–gee, thanks guys for making me work to get what I already had). They ask for the reasons, so that equates to the third time they’ve gotten an earful from me.

  13. BSK says:

    I still insist that my Windows uses the classic appearance, which takes it back to looking like what it looked like pre-XP. And I can only do that because I still run XP. I’m 28, computer savy, but hate needless innovation. The coolest feature on my phone is the preloaded back drop of an adoreable chimpmunk. I hate the new Gmail. Fuck Google, indeed.

  14. Johanna says:

    Well google does allow me to do all kinds of cool stuff on my fancy new phone.

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